Maker's Mark Richt

In honor of one week ‘til kick off, I present North v. South College Football.  Go Dawgs.
Stadium Size:NORTH:  College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.SOUTH:  High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.Campus Decor:NORTH:  Statues of founding fathers.SOUTH:  Statues of Heisman trophy winners.Homecoming Queen:NORTH:  Also a physics major.SOUTH:  Also Miss America..Cheerleaders:NORTH:  If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.SOUTH:  You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.Getting Tickets:NORTH:  5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.SOUTH:  5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.Women’s Accessories:NORTH:  ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.SOUTH:  Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Jack Daniels/Crown. Money is not necessary — That’s what dates are for.Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:NORTH:  Students and teachers not sure they’re going to the game, Because they have classes on Friday.SOUTH:  Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see The few hung-over students that might actually make it to class and throw up on their floor.Parking:NORTH:  An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.SOUTH:  RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for The weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.Game Day:NORTH:  A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.SOUTH:  Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting “Game Day Live” to get on camera  and wave to the folks up north.Tailgating:NORTH:  Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.SOUTH:  30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by “Dave Matthews’ Band,” who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.Getting to the Stadium:NORTH:  You ask “Where’s the stadium?” When you find it, you walk right in.SOUTH:  When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day it becomes the state’s third largest city.Concessions:NORTH:  Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.SOUTH:  Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team’s mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels/Crown.When National Anthem is Played:NORTH:  Stands are still less than half full.SOUTH:  100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.Smell in the Air After the First Score:NORTH:  Nothing changes.SOUTH:  Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.Commentary (Male):NORTH:  “Nice play.”SOUTH:  “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”Commentary (Female):NORTH:  “My, this certainly is a violent sport.”SOUTH:  “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”Announcers:NORTH:  Neutral and paid.SOUTH:  Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.After the Game:NORTH:  The stadium is emptying out.SOUTH:  Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to The nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next week’s game.

In honor of one week ‘til kick off, I present North v. South College Football.  Go Dawgs.

Stadium Size:

NORTH:  College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

SOUTH:  High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Campus Decor:

NORTH:  Statues of founding fathers.

SOUTH:  Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:

NORTH:  Also a physics major.

SOUTH:  Also Miss America..

Cheerleaders:

NORTH:  If you are slightly coordinated, you make the varsity squad.

SOUTH:  You begin cheer camp at age two, complete with ballet, dance, & gymnastic training.

Getting Tickets:

NORTH:  5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.

SOUTH:  5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus & put name on the waiting list.

Women’s Accessories:

NORTH:  ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

SOUTH:  Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of Jack Daniels/Crown. Money is not necessary — That’s what dates are for.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

NORTH:  Students and teachers not sure they’re going to the game, Because they have classes on Friday.

SOUTH:  Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don’t want to see The few hung-over students that might actually make it to class and throw up on their floor.

Parking:

NORTH:  An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

SOUTH:  RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for The weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:

NORTH:  A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

SOUTH:  Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting “Game Day Live” to get on camera  and wave to the folks up north.

Tailgating:

NORTH:  Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

SOUTH:  30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by “Dave Matthews’ Band,” who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:

NORTH:  You ask “Where’s the stadium?” When you find it, you walk right in.

SOUTH:  When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day it becomes the state’s third largest city.

Concessions:

NORTH:  Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.

SOUTH:  Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team’s mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for Jack Daniels/Crown.

When National Anthem is Played:

NORTH:  Stands are still less than half full.

SOUTH:  100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

Smell in the Air After the First Score:

NORTH:  Nothing changes.

SOUTH:  Fireworks, with a touch of Jack Daniels/Crown.

Commentary (Male):


NORTH:  “Nice play.”

SOUTH:  “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Commentary (Female):


NORTH:  “My, this certainly is a violent sport.”

SOUTH:  “*#@&@, you slow *&%$@#! - tackle him and break his legs.”

Announcers:


NORTH:  Neutral and paid.

SOUTH:  Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:

NORTH:  The stadium is emptying out.

SOUTH:  Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker while somebody goes to The nearest package store for more bourbon. Planning begins for next week’s game.

  1. vivalatorrence reblogged this from mississippigirlmisplaced and added:
    The second on is TOTALLY my school.
  2. mississippigirlmisplaced reblogged this from sratsouthernbelle
  3. ihaveafifthsensee reblogged this from kelciew
  4. kelciew reblogged this from lifeofpraise
  5. beauty-from-ashes reblogged this from lifeofpraise and added:
    scary how accurate this is. war eagle! haha.
  6. lifeofpraise reblogged this from worldmeetsheartbreak
  7. emmaabean reblogged this from xpartyingwithgatsbyx
  8. xpartyingwithgatsbyx reblogged this from sratsouthernbelle
  9. violetdistractions reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  10. circusrose reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  11. asbrk reblogged this from waitingontwentythree
  12. chelseamp reblogged this from redjeep
  13. redjeep reblogged this from waitingontwentythree
  14. waitingontwentythree reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  15. themacaronigrill reblogged this from makersmarkricht and added:
    This is why I don’t belong in the South. What was I thinking when I came to UGA? Next Saturday will be...
  16. worldmeetsheartbreak reblogged this from makersmarkricht and added:
    I love this..
  17. zharlan48 reblogged this from kteegee
  18. horsesgoneigh reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  19. sratsouthernbelle reblogged this from lituplikeafirefly and added:
    Going to a northern school, I totally appreciate this and miss the south. I party just as hard up here, but I have to...
  20. kteegee reblogged this from chloeeileen
  21. chloeeileen reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  22. ash-sinc reblogged this from lituplikeafirefly and added:
    GO DAWGS! Can’t wait for football season to get started THIS WEEKEND …nothing better than Saturday in Athens! :)
  23. everydaymistakes reblogged this from kclark1007
  24. kclark1007 reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  25. livefromlaurel reblogged this from makersmarkricht
  26. stillmandy reblogged this from hannahstill and added:
    woohoo!! football!